Audiences of Many Versus an Audience of One

        Christians are caught in the middle of an ongoing battle of performing for an audience of One (lively solely for the Lord) versus many different audiences (succumbing to the temptations of the world).  Below is a brief, general summary of some of the audiences for whom college students perform.
We college students feel so pressured to perform their absolute best in school because they are trying to prove to their parents, teachers, friends, (potential) employers, pastors, and Bible study leaders that we are brilliant, that we can stand strong and alone, and that we have what it takes to succeed, whatever that looks like for the individual.  In front of our parents, we want to show that we are becoming mature adults and are no longer children.  We perform for our teachers, trying to receive the best grades in order to graduate with the most prestigious degree so we can thus land the highest paying job.  Before the people we meet in the church, we toss around the “Christian lingo” and put on the “happy Christian face”, trying to make them believe that we are stronger in our faith than we really are.
With this in mind, how do we say, “I live before the Audience of One.  Before others I have nothing to prove, nothing to gain, nothing to lose” (Guinness 77)?  Performing for an Audience of One, I think, takes form in reckless abandonment to the Lord, or in other words, devoting every moment of my life to Jesus and sacrificing all my goals, plans, and dreams to the One who gave His life for mine.  And sure, this all sounds good, but incorporating this mindset into daily life requires discipline.  This is where the praying without ceasing enters.  We must learn to quiet our minds and be still so we can hear the Holy Spirit’s voice.  We will not achieve this overnight, but the more we practice letting go of ourselves and setting our hearts on Jesus, the more we will forget about the other audiences and truly begin to live only for our Lord.
I would like to close with two questions.  First, what are some spiritual disciplines that help us to quiet our minds and hearts so we can hear God’s voice?  Two, how did the idea of people pleasing originate?

A Couple of Questions

In the chapter titled "Everyone, Everywhere, Everything" of Rising to the Call, Os Guinness discusses the "Catholic distortion" and the "Protestant distortion" of the concept of "calling".  The "Catholic distortion" elevates the spiritual above the secular while the "Protestant distortion" stresses the importance of the secular at the expense of the spiritual (pages 26, 35).  In other words, the "Catholic distortion" values a life devoted to serving God by giving up all worldly things (think monks and nuns or even people who think in order to show true devotion to God they need to become pastors or missionaries).  On the other hand, the "Protestant distortion" interchanges "callings" and "vocations" with "occupations", "jobs", and "trades".  Well today there are thousands of corrupt and  even some evil jobs (the sex trade, for example), but does this mean that those who engage in those jobs are "called" to do so?  I think not.  My real question is, are we called to specific occupations, such as pastoring, parenthood, doctors, grocery check-out clerks, or custodians?  Or, are these jobs placed in our paths so we can come closer to fulfilling our true calling?  And if that is the case, how does someone with a "menial job" (our society would call groundskeeping menial) discern his or her true calling?

"Spiritual Homework"

        In his book, Rising to the Call, Os Guinness quotes Oswald Chambers on pages 39-40: “The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him.”  Chambers is saying that we Christians can become so caught up in our efforts to serve Christ that we forget to grow our relationships with Him.  Like Martha in Luke 38-42, we focus more on doing our work right and forget to sit at His feet.  We become trapped in the performance cycle, following our routines and repeating our lines over and over and over again until they no longer have any meaning.  Instead of coming to our Lord and Savior to learn, grow, and rest, we continue on our own strength until we crash and burn.  Though we remember Whom we are serving and acknowledge His presence, our services to Him have turned into “spiritual homework”, something we have to do rather than something we want to do in response to His goodness.
        We Christian college students provide excellent examples of this concept.  Though our desire is to follow the example of Jesus and honor Him in everything we do, we have the wrong approach.  We forget that Jesus took time to rest and pray and seek the will of His Father.  Instead, we think that we are to be always doing something productive, so we join as many missions as possible and all but completely give up on proper rest and nutrition and, most unfortunately, our personal time with God in order to complete homework.  After all God is honored by hard work and evangelism, right?  Yes, but there is a balance.  Our personal quiet time with Jesus enhances our service to Him.  As we grow in understanding of Christ’s immeasurable love for us, our desire to serve Christ will become a response to His love instead of a “Christian requirement”.

This Is My Story...

Everything I said in my last post was called into serious question when my family and I moved from our beloved Texas to Northwest Arkansas.  God had called us up here for His own purposes and we would not ignore Him.  Though sad about leaving all my grandparents, closest friends, and Christian Youth Theater, I was excited about the adventure and left with total confidence in God’s perfect plan.

            Little did I dream of the extreme loneliness I would feel during our first year in Arkansas.  Not a clue did I have of the onslaught of stress over my school work.  Nor was I prepared to face a season of depression during my last year in high school.  The most painful part of remembering these experiences is how I responded to them.  I knew the answer to all of these problems was to lean into God.  But in my pride, I thought I could discover a way to win these battles in my own strength.  How hypocritical and foolish of me!  I despised myself because I wasn’t nearly as good as I wanted to be.  Actually, I was unhappy because I couldn’t be perfect.  During this season, I slowly came to understand how often I try to control my life and “be good” not because I want to please God, but because I wanted to show off.

            I had to make a decision on how I was going to live for the rest of my life.  I could own and work toward my dreams, stressing over everything all the way, and perhaps never realize them.  Or, I could release them back to my Lord and let Him provide for me as He has always done in the past.  When I was lonely, He comforted me with His love, and He led me and my family to a church devoted to authenticity and loving all people.  When I was stressed, He sat next to me and gave me the wisdom and strength to work through every academic issue.  When I was depressed, He stepped in with all His power and cast Satan out of my thoughts.  I have chosen to live every moment in His presence.  I am still far from total success.  Every time a stressful situation has come up, I have to say no to the stress that wants to bubble out of me.  But, the true war in my story is already won, and Jesus has the victory.  To Him be all the glory.

            Moving to Arkansas was one of the hardest things my family has ever had to do.  Yet, if we had stayed down in good ole’ Texas, where we were known and loved and comfortable, how could we have grown?  How could we have learned to trust God for every provision?  These past two years up here forced me to answer one of the most crucial questions in a Christian’s journey: How will you take ownership of your faith?

The Elements of My Meaningful Life

Donald Miller writes in chapter 8 of A Million Miles in a Thousand Years that the essence of a good story is “a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it” (page 48).  As a Christian who was once chained to my sins, I yearned for salvation, but I could not get it for myself.  Jesus chose to pay the cost for my freedom so that I could receive this salvation as a gift.  Now, that I am free from my chains, what do I want?  My story is not yet over.  What am I pursuing?  I think there are several responses to this question.  For instance, I could say that I am a music major pursuing a Bachelor of Arts degree in vocal performance.  Or, I am a college girl and honors student who wants a good education.  To what end?

To answer this question, I need to think about what it means for me to be a Christian.  I believe a Christian is a person who has accepted Jesus’ gift of salvation, who confesses with the mouth that Jesus is Lord, who desires to know Him better and better, and who wants to glorify Him in every thought, word, and action.  I do desire to know Jesus better and to praise Him in all that I speak and do.  In order to do this, though I must overcome my tendency to rely only on myself.  I must ignore my impulse to take over my life and follow my own rules.  How is this possible?  I must choose to actively pursue a relationship with my Prince, through prayer (conversation with God), through reading the Bible (His story and His love letters to me), through worship (basking in His presence), and through service to others (His image instead of mine).

Why is this my goal?  Why am I spending so much time pursuing Jesus?  I am free from my sins and I am not going to hell, so why cast myself aside for this God?  Jesus is the gateway to salvation.  If I walk through the gateway, but continue to live for me, myself, and I, then I essentially accepted the key to unlock my chains but I did not use the key.  I do not want to live bound to a chain for the rest of my life, so I must let God unlock the chains and lead me out of the dungeon.  But, what truly astounds me is this: Jesus did not have to die.  God could have easily killed off Adam and Eve and started over.  But, He didn’t.  He chose to die to set me free, even though I was a rotten sinner who scoffed at Him.  God must be madly in love with me.  I definitely want to know Him better.

What Do You Think? (Honors Orientation Blog Post #1 Part 2)

"It didn't occur to me at the time, but it's obvious to me now that in creating the fictional Don, I was creating the person I wanted to be, the person worth telling stories about.  It never occurred to me that I could re-create my own story, my real life story, but in an evolution I had moved toward a better me.  I was creating someone I could live through, the person I'd be if I redrew the world, a character that was me but flesh and soul other.  And flesh and soul better too."
(Miller, Donald. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Thomas Nelson, Inc.: Nashville, 2009)

Is this re-creation of self realistic?  In the long run, what is the "better, fictional Don" going to do?  How can he make an impact on the world if he doesn't exist?  And who really has the power to transform himself/herself?  Us or God?  When we accept salvation, do we sign a contract saying that we will reform, or do we allow the Holy Spirit to renew our hearts, souls, and minds?  I just don't see where Miller is going with this season of "re-creating himself".

MyLife, MyMovie, MyScene - Honors Orientation, Section C

  My life a movie?  Who would make a movie out of my life?  How would they portray my thoughts and internal battles on the big screen?  Though I have certainly had my wild adventures, most of my life has been pretty quiet.  But, if my life were a movie, the story would revolve around my faith and my love of music and how the two came together into a passion for worship.  One of the most significant moments in my life regarding worship occurred about three years ago.  My movie could not exist without this scene.
  My family and I went on a mission trip with our church in Texas to Costa Rica in the summer of 2008. The Sunday after we arrived, we attended a church that was hosted in a garage.  Actually, it was a small shack built from all sorts of metals and wood and I don't know what else.  The day was cold and wet, and the church was packed.  I was nervous and uncertain of what to expect.  I had no idea how to minister to these people or even how to communicate with them.  I felt so awkward and out of place; I admittedly wanted to go back to the seminary where we were staying.
  My friend's uncle is a missionary in Costa Rica, and he translated the sermon for us.  Of course, the worship was in Spanish, led by a group of teens.  One lady shared about the reconciliation between her daughter and herself, a baby was dedicated to the Lord and the church, and another woman read the story of the wise man who built his house on a rock.  The pastor welcomed us North Americans and shared how the church was started.  He told us that opportunities to serve God are precious, and we need to take advantage of them.  After the sermon, we were served Coca-Cola and cookies.  I was so touched; they have so little yet give us their best.  
  By this point, my attitude had changed.  I had opened my heart to the Lord's work, and I was incredibly blessed by the pastor's words and welcome.  The service ended with praise music and dancing!  Several of us joined the group in the dance, including me.  I still felt slightly awkward at first, but through God's grace I was able to let go of myself and worship Him with my brothers and sisters in Christ.  We laughed and sang and raised our arms and danced and laughed again and again!  Suddenly, I heard a voice whisper in my heart, "This is what heaven looks like."  People joyfully worshipping our Savior with no regards to language barriers, smelly shacks, cold rain, or anything else.  All that mattered was that we were holding nothing back in our worship.
  I was surrounded by the people I had come to serve; instead, they served me.  They reminded me that the church is made of people, that God really is everywhere, and that we can worship Him anywhere.  We were told a couple of days later that the pastor asked for our names so he and the congregation could pray for us by name, and I wanted to cry.  Whenever I think about the dance session in Costa Rica, I want to jump up and down and dance around the room because I can hardly wait to sing and dance before the Lord with my brothers and sisters.  I am so grateful that God removed my fears and drew me into His presence.  I have never been so unashamed in my life.  I want that state of mind and heart back. "Thy Kingdom come.  Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven."  Come, Lord Jesus!

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